dear, love. Let’s have faith!

Dear, love.

It is all I have to say to you, love: dear, love! Because you are dear to me, you fill my heart with the strongest and most unpredictable feeling ever, but you are so merciless at the same time. So, be careful with it, keep my heart still more often than rarely so I can let my mind slide in some wise thoughts. It is overwhelming, even for an almost 30 year old woman like me.

Reuniting with my former love after four months was more than I was ready for, but I am happy, so happy that I felt like I could take over the whole world. Still, this does not mean we learned everything from the worst mistake of separating from each other. Today, for instance, I learned to have more faith. Have you ever heard that saying about how you realize how little you know every time you learn something new? My high school teacher of Romanian language used to say that, I loved her, and now I love her even more. Yes I am ignorant. The faith I have always had was not in people, and certainly not enough faith in my love partner. But I have grown to get there, and I know now that he is the one I trust and rely on blindly. It is part of loving unconditionally. Nowadays , unconditional love is on its verge of disappearance, the mutual respect, trust, loving to laugh together, and having faith in each other. What happened to us? Or maybe it’s just me? Maybe I am the only one with trust issues.

Well, I am aware of my issues. Therefore, learning to have faith in people is a big deal for me and loved ones around me. You have to have faith in people if you consider yourself an optimist. You believe in God but you don’t have faith in people? Then, I am sorry to break it to you, but you are a hypocrite. God doesn’t love you only, He does not give chances only to one of His children. Guess what, He loves us all, every single one. I have to be honest, I am in awe as I am realizing to where my thoughts are taking me right now. J)))

Yes, I have faith in you, people. Even if you break my trust, even if you stab me in the back, even if you don’t like me, even if you don’t care. I will still have faith, I just will not be holding hands with you anymore. But I will be right there if you need me, when you realize you need my help and faith in you so bad, that you will know I am your real friend, because I have faith in you.

Everyone deserves to have someone’s faith in them. There is no other way to grow or evolve to a highest goal.

And yes, I have faith in you, my love! We may be in different places in our lives right now, physically, mentally, and spiritually, but we have found each other and know we just want to grow in love for each other. I have faith in you now more than ever, now that you are open about where you stand… and it is ok. I am right here. I will be here for you always. Because I have faith in you!

P.S.

I can have faith, and this is what’s making me stronger! You should give it a try as well  😉

xoxo

how much exposing is okay?…

Is it not a great feeling when you have friends to spend time with and feel comfortable with enough to open up to them, enough to tell them anything? Because there is no better feeling than being able to trust a person who will listen, appreciate, give an opinion, understand, and not tell the whole world about every detail of your life. Because you do not want to share your life with the world, you just want to be heard and supported by your closest friends and family.

But what do you do when you are too busy at work, home, running errands, even your friends get so busy and caught in a rushing and overwhelming schedule that there is no way to get together and let your grief out? I catch myself talking to co-workers about our own life dramas everyday even though they are not my best friends. And as much as I try to keep it all to myself, I end up telling parts of my problems. And only afterwards I realize it was my desperate need to talk to someone about it, or to just let it out. Like misplaced anger this can be extremely risky. But then if you consider the idea of vulnerability thoroughly analyzed in details by the famous Brene Brown, than “being in the arena” and showing vulnerability is a good idea.

I just adore how the research professor teaches about being vulnerable in order to be loved for who you are, not despite who you are (Brown, 2012). In these times, when I am on the verge of giving up on juggling all the areas of my life, I let myself fall down and decide to let it show without aiming to get help or attention. I am ready to let my guard down, and show I am not perfect and I have moments of weakness, I cannot keep a smiling face anymore and cover all my problems just because I do not like sharing anything with the world. Having a personal and private life is healthy but not when you are alone in it. Getting to a point where I did not even want to talk to friends anymore maybe me fall… I learned something new.

Exposing yourself is not something that will hurt you. It does not matter if it will even be your enemies who will watch this. Exposing yourself means being yourself in front of the world, showing you can live in this crazy turmoil with what you have and who you are. If I tell someone a story about myself it is not only because I trust that person, or because I may be willing to expose myself, but because it will make that person understand why I do the things I do, and how I see the things they see differently. Making that difference makes me stronger and ready to get up again. I can go on now knowing that opening up sometimes is okay, and no matter what the reaction will be, I stay the same: stronger and positive about what I believe in.

Find that thin line between vulnerability and exposing oneself and you will discover a new you, a stronger you. It takes time, and surely some mistakes to learn what that balance is for you. But do not give up, because it is a stronger you rising up at the end of the path of learning about yourself…

 

Reference:

Brown, B. (2012) Daring Greatly, New York: Gotham Books

…start with a break-up

Well, this is one marvelous start for my blog: Facing an ugly break-up, paying an emergency visit to my dentist, and run to the crazy busy job. Am I being punished here, God? I always ask myself when my problems pour down on me, because, frankly speaking, they literally pour down. It is never one issue, or one at a time, they always somehow come at once, and boom! FACE IT!!

I have gotten so used to it that I almost look at this as some kind of a race. I am thinking just run, keep running to get things done and do not look back. Besides, don’t they say “God only gives you what you can handle” or “He gives you something to make you stronger” ? I have to admit I find the bright side of anything, and I do learn to grow stronger with each challenge, but when it comes to relationships… I might not be the best at it, because I do not know how to get over a person whom you invest all your feelings and heart and then… just let go.

Couples of days later, we even stopped talking for some reason. It caused a break down for me a month later. For that reason I may not be proud of what I said but it certainly made me feel better. Why acting like nothing happened and then move out of the state?

Anyway, the struggle was real. I still have a life and so many things and people to enjoy and be thankful for. I do not have a lot of best friends, but the few I have matter enough to help me go through anything. I may not have family here to support and help me right away, but I still have them back home in my native country, and thank God, technology lets me keep in touch with them. Now it is all up to me where I go from here. I have been wondering for the last couple of months now about this idea. I cannot believe what this emotional pain did to me. Yes, it numbed me, but I am awake now, I opened my eyes to see reality, and the reality is I have a great future ahead of me, right around the corner. I am so close to graduation. I’d better focus now. I’d better make it better than yesterday, because yesterday was an eye opener, today is a new lesson, and tomorrow is a door opener. And I’d better be able to make the right choice to open the right door.

Do not let anyone bring you down. Do not put others in your priority list before you just because this is the genuine kindness the world needs. You cannot help others and be kind to them when, you do not prioritize your happiness at all. Learn to be happy on your own and with what you have, and things will come your way and be ready to kindly face them. This makes you stronger, it makes you so much more motivated than any person you depend on out there! 😉 take the time to meditate on this…

 

P.S.

xoxo

Introduction

  Discovering the stronger you is the idea that I want to focus on this blogging. It is something I rediscovered when coming to this country and something I want to encourage everyone to do, because discovering the stronger you is not something set in you, it is something you develop in you and then discover, it is something you need every day and either create it or go with the things with you as you are without changing.

Do not stop, do not give up. Life is a challenge and a journey. Choose to recreate yourself in the sense of building a stronger you who can achieve any dreams put in mind. Choose to keep the stronger you and develop it every day not only because you have no other choice but because it what makes you and your loved ones happy.

I have been a resident of the United States for over eight years now, and would like to share my thoughts and some of my experiences that made who I am today. My journey has been a turmoil at times and quiet an excitement at other times. I invite you to leave any feedback and share with me any opinions and personal experiences. Let’s help build the stronger in each other and be one!

(I do apologize in advance for any grammar/syntax mistakes, as English is my second language, almost native-to-be 😉